It has been a few months now since I returned from the USA. It was a hell of an adventure. Not only the vacation was amazing and unforgetable, the getaway was spectacular. After I found out the Koala Bears had lied to me and in fact were Lord Gemoetoebekhouwe's secret agents, I realized I had to get out of there quickly. Luckily Anton already knew about the true identity of these terrible bears, and came well prepared. The Koala bears, who hoped to have tricked Anton into a trap, were completely surprised. From the north side of Central Park they saw Anton appear, with right behind him Kil with a sawed off shotgun, Dan with bags of explosives in his hands, the Jehova's Whitness from the yardsale with a book to bore them to death, and the dancing woman doll from Coney Island who was a master at throwing quarters with high speed. From the south came Firery with 122 angry chickens, Del with his camera to take pictures from the battle, and to blind them with the flash, Pete with cornhole bags to throw and Chris to catch the Koala bears on grammatical mistakes. From the west an entire army of Care Bears appeared, and they were pissed. Anton had informed them of the planned attack and the Care Bears saw it as a great oppertunity to deal with this rival bear gang. From the East the Dutch army appeared in full strenght, all six of them. They kept a little distance, since they were only there to monitor, there was no money for ammunition in the budget, so they just stood there trying to look tough. I'm not sure how the battle was won, since I had decided to take a nap after all these new impressions and input, it made me dizzy. When I woke up on this pile of smelly leaves the fight was almost over. A few Koala bears were hidden in an old maple tree, but they soon came down to surrender after Kil yelled: "That tree might have survived hundreds of years of American history, but this shotgun will blow it into peaces with a single shot! Fuck it, I don't even have to AIM for the tree to hit it!" As she reloaded the Koala's gave in, and Kil yelled: "USA! USA! USA!"
Tyrone decided to help out as a berkeeper, and Bob tried to be a DJ but he couldn't find the radio station he always listened to while driving the bus. I made sure the toilets were clean and the fart cushions under the toilet seat were not visible. More guests came in, and soon the whole place was filled with people socializing, laughing and having fun. Beth and Firery came in with huge plates of snacks, including crabs and grilled snake, Justin was in a corner painting a group portrait, Chris recited great American literature, and in the back yard the care bears were beating up a guy dressed as an insect, while the whole baseball team was cheering around them. And still there were people coming in! Three guys dressed as Elmo came to give out free hugs, and a human sellery came in and immediately helped Firery serving the vegetarian snacks. Eight guys in black suits came in and joined the party. They were NSA and intercepted the emailed invitations. Argo joined, and immediately got into a heated discussion with the NSA guys about encryption protocols. Anton and his friends arrived and got seated at the bar to talk about the enviroment, and also three UD students came in, not for the party, but to ask Firery some questions about a school project. It was amazing. I walked around, trying to welcome everyone, and got to shake hands with the people I only saw briefly when I was in the States. Vincent, who was the guy with the giant LaCoste crocodile on his shirt who we met at the bus station, turned out to be the far cousin of my mother's neighbours daughter in law. It's such a small world! Even Firery and Del's neighbours walked in, and later made a huge mess in the kitchen. But it was great, everyone was in a great mood, and we had the baseball team present to make sure the party would take ages to end.
The Care Bears took the surviving Koala bears as Prisoners of War, and escorted them to Koalamo Bay for further interrogation about Lord Gemoetoebekhouwe's whereabouts. Panaki Uziezie, the head of Mboolie, arrived after traveling through space and time, to shake Anton's hand and give us medals for courage and for not having diarhhea problems. The Mbooli cleaned up central park and thanks to time travel this only took a second from our perspective. We all went to Isa's house at the Upper West Side to take a shower and clean up, and from there Firery, Kil and me took the subway to Kennedy Airport where I would finally boarded the airplane that took me home. My mother and brother came to pick me up from Dusseldorf Airport, and when I got home I told them about my adventures and showed them my souvenirs, like this awesome Koala bear rug:
And then it was time for the performances. Although the Cheerleaders were nervous, they impressed everyone with their routines, even the baseball coach who decided baseball needs cheerleading. Chris recited awesome poetry and got arrested by the NSA who suspected hidden messages to terrorists in it. Anton and his friends were pretty drunk by that time, and shocked everyone with a striptease act. And then it got wild. Tyrone couldn't keep up with the booze, and just opened up the bar for everyone to serve themselves. Duda stepped on stage to sing, but was quickly removed by Bob who feared damage to his ears. An hour later it went crazy. The complete dutch army arrived and got into a fight with the guys dressed as Elmo, and they lost. The Mbooli were in the back yard, experimenting with leaves that the NSA urinated on while doing short time jumps. The care bears used their powers to take advantage of the innocent cheerleaders, but Kil found out just in time and kicked their bear asses. Firery had so much beer she wasn't aware of the flashes of Del's camera. He finally had the oppertunity to take pictures of her without her protesting. Justin's paiting was getting really weird, but I guess that was normal for him. There was a rumble at the toilet too, since a few baseball players had to go and they took ages in there. As more and more people went outside to pee on leaves, the head of Mbooli decided it was enough and took the baseball team back to the stone age, so they would be ready before the party ended. Around six in the morning everyone was passed out by the booze and whatnot, except Kil and me. We didn't drink, so we were in great shape and we took out markers to write crap on everyones faces. Another hour later Anton was up and awake already and started to clean up the smelly leaves and made fried eggs for everyone.
While we enjoyed our eggs and looked at the photo's Del took, we all felt bad we would have to say goodbye again soon. Time flies, so its very important to get together when you can and create some good memories. Please remember this when Christmas is here. And we all have bad sides, nobody is perfect, so when you see a Koala bear in the zoo or in Central Park, don't be too hard on them. Just shout "USA! USA! USA!" and they will know their place. In time, they will come to their senses and realise they were wrong, and better themselves, like we all do when we learn more as we get older.
This is the end of my travel blog, thank you all for following and reading my stories. Have a good Christmas and a good start in the new year thats coming. Tot ziens!
